When Work Becomes Abuse: Navigating Toxicity and Protecting Your Mental Health

Toxicity at work isn’t just a bad day here and there—it’s a constant, crushing weight that wears you down over time. For the person on the receiving end, it’s not just about dealing with a difficult manager or an annoying coworker. It’s about surviving a hostile environment day in and day out, where every conversation, every meeting, and every interaction feels like another emotional hurdle. It’s exhausting, draining, and it's abuse. It wears you down in ways that people around you might not understand.

If you're the one dealing with this, it’s hard to explain just how unbearable it can get. On the outside, it might look like you’re just having a tough time at work, but inside, it’s a constant battle. Your manager might make snide comments, exclude you from important meetings, or treat you like you're invisible. They could belittle your efforts or pile on impossible expectations without any regard for what you're actually capable of. The worst part? It often feels like there's nowhere to turn. You can't just walk away from this kind of environment because you might not have the luxury of another job lined up, and you certainly don’t have the savings to take a break or give yourself time to breathe. For so many people, walking away isn't even an option—it’s survival mode, and that means enduring daily emotional abuse.

When you're stuck in a toxic situation like this, you start to question everything about yourself. You wonder if you're good enough, if you're just not cut out for this job, or if you're overreacting to things that are just part of work. But deep down, you know it's not you. It's them. It's the bullying, the constant undermining, the microaggressions that build up and make you feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells. No one should ever have to feel like that in the workplace (or anywhere) but for so many people, this is their reality.

The problem is, these toxic behaviors are often subtle enough that no one else seems to notice. Your manager may seem fine to everyone else. They are polite, professional, even supportive to other colleagues. But when it comes to you, they’re a different person. Maybe they criticize you in front of others, belittle your ideas, or make you feel like you don’t matter. You want to speak up, but you can’t afford to make waves because you need this job. Maybe you’ve tried talking to HR before, but they didn’t take you seriously. Or maybe you’ve been warned that speaking out will just make things worse, so you keep quiet.

And it’s not just the job itself that’s affected. When you’re in a toxic environment, it seeps into everything. You start taking it home with you. You feel exhausted, stressed, and anxious, even when you're not at work. You lose sleep. You lose motivation. Your mental health starts to erode. You start wondering if you’ll ever escape this cycle, if it will always feel this way, or if the emotional toll will ever stop.

The most crushing part is that it can feel like you have no options and you’re just holding it together by a thread.

Here's the truth: this is abuse, and it’s not okay. Just because it’s happening at work doesn’t mean it’s any less damaging than bullying you experienced in school or at home. In fact, workplace abuse can be even more insidious because it’s tied to your livelihood. It impacts your sense of security, your identity, and your well-being. You shouldn’t have to tolerate being treated like this. You don’t deserve to feel small, invisible, or worthless because someone in power is abusing their position.

What you’re going through is real, and it’s important to acknowledge that this kind of behavior is not acceptable. The fact that you might not have many options doesn’t mean you should have to endure abuse. No one should have to give up their peace of mind, their self-worth, or their mental health just to keep a paycheck coming in.

If you're experiencing this kind of toxic behavior, we at The Kindness Objective highly encourage you to speak to your doctor about taking medical leave for your mental health and consult a lawyer. You may even be eligible for disability through your employer during that time.

If you decide to do so, do not share this information until you have all the required paperwork in place from your doctor.