I've had countless conversations with kids and parents about the age old issue of bullying in schools. It's a topic that hits close to home for many of us because, let's face it, no one wants to see their child suffer at the hands of a bully. But what strikes me the most is the narrative that schools keep pushing, which is that kids should avoid physical confrontation at all costs, even if it means standing there and getting hit by another student.
Let's get real for a moment. I understand the intention behind these rules, but these stupid policies are making our children victims and destroying their self esteem. This is the real world and here's the harsh truth: bullies don't follow rules! They prey on vulnerability. They pick on kids who they perceive as weak or easy targets. And if our children don't stand up for themselves, they become easy prey. Telling the teacher is fine but when that teacher isn't looking, our children are being cornered in the bathroom by other kids who don't have good intentions.
In what world do we ever tell someone they don't have the right to defend themselves if someone is hurting them? As parents, our job is to teach our kids to be resilient, to be strong, and yes, to stand up for themselves! If we want to bully proof our children, we need to make sure they know that they have the right to fight back. Yes, it is their human RIGHT to protect themselves.
As parents, we have to change the narrative. We have to teach our kids that it's not only okay to defend themselves, but that they should! It's okay to stand up for what's right, even if it means breaking a school rule. Because at the end of the day, our children's safety and self respect are worth far more than any stupid school policy, and yes... it is STUPID to tell someone they have to stand there and be abused or they will get in trouble.
Telling the teacher is all fine and good but when that teacher isn't looking, these bullies are still tormenting other children. I know this for a FACT because kids tell me this every day in our workshops. And they all tell me they are afraid to fight back because they don't want to get in trouble. This is not OK!
While kids are getting hit, cornered in school bathrooms and tormented at recess, they shouldn't also be worried about the consequences of fighting back and getting in trouble at school. They should be worried about standing up for themselves. That's it!
I can almost guarantee that if any one of these school administrators had someone hitting them in the office, they wouldn't just stand there.
Let me ask you this: what's more important, a temporary slap on the wrist from the school or ensuring your child's emotional and physical well being? The bigger picture here is crystal clear and if it's not you need to read this again.
We need to support our kids the RIGHT way. Let's teach them to speak up, to defend themselves, and to know that we've got their backs no matter what. If every parent took this position we would have a culture where bullies have no power because our kids would be strong, confident, and unafraid to stand their ground.
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