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Writer's pictureMelissa Marquais

Facing The Truth: How Self-Defense, Kindness, and Tough Conversations Can Save Lives in the Age of School Violence



With school shootings and violence on the rise, it’s crucial to teach kids self-defense, equip them with the right skills, and stress the value of kindness. Let’s rewind to earlier days when schools felt different. Bullying and mobbing has always been an issue, but there were times when students had rifle racks in their cars in the school parking lot, and while that might seem extreme now, the violence we see today was still not common.


What Changed?

Back then, if kids had a problem, they settled it in the street. They fought, moved on, and often even became friends, because there was a certain amount of respect for one another after they hashed it out. There was an expectation that people needed to stand up for themselves.


Today, things have changed drastically. Bullying is no longer just something that happens at school; it follows kids home through social media, and it is relentless. When a kid is being bullied all the time, it seriously affects their mental health. They start to feel like there’s no escape from the torment, which is a very dark and dangerous place to be.


When You Take Away Someone's Power and Control Over Their Own Life

It might sound backwards, but fighting back actually makes things safer. With schools taking away the basic human right to self-defense, bullying and harassment goes on for months or even years, leaving kids feeling helpless and totally powerless. These rules are supposed to keep everyone safe, but they’re actually making things worse. Kids can’t stand up for themselves, establishing an immediate power imbalance.


Ah, "zero tolerance" for bullying! What a delightful little slogan schools love to brag about. It’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine when it comes to actually doing something. When you take away someone's autonomy over their own life, they are left feeling trapped and helpless. Their frustration, sadness, and anger build up until they eventually explode, sometimes leading to horrific outcomes like suicide or homicide


The Role of Self-Defense and Kindness In Creating Safer Environments

Self-Defense is crucial to create safe environments. Teaching kids self-defense isn’t about promoting violence but about giving them the confidence, skills and permission to protect themselves if they need to. Self-defense is about skill, not just strength, and when taught right, it is about handling dangerous situations in a safe and controlled way.


Another big part of self-defense training is building confidence. Knowing you can protect yourself makes you less likely to be targeted and more calm in tough situations. When someone remains calm in the face of physical danger, that alone can be quite intimidating.


Kindness also plays a huge role

Self-defense isn’t the only piece of the puzzle. Kindness can create a buffer of protection and help ensure that kids are not targeted. It’s critical to teach our children that their actions spark reactions. They need to understand that their words and behavior carry a lot of weight.


This Is Real Life

Someone who treats people with respect and kindness is less likely to be targeted by someone who’s feeling hurt, angry, and out of control. Imagine if a kid who’s been bullied for years decides to bring a gun to school. Would you want your kid to be the first one on their list, or would you rather they be the one who’s always been kind and supportive, someone the shooter might even stop and think, 'They were always nice to me'?


This is a conversation we need to have with our kids and we need to be blunt with our words. Is it horrible and uncomfortable? Yes. But by dodging these tough conversations or laying it out in softer terms, we risk them becoming targets for violence and dodging bullets instead.


To tackle school violence, we need to get real about giving students self-defense skills, permission to stand up for themselves, pushing for more kindness, and having honest conversations. These steps are key to preventing tragedies and making schools safer.


Let's Knock Out Bullying

TKO partners with martial arts and boxing facilities across the country through our 'Let's Knock Out Bullying' program. This case-by-case initiative offers victims of school bullying and mobbing free self-defense training, at no cost to their families. Additionally, we conduct numerous empathy building and kindness workshops and activities to inspire a more inclusive world. By creating understanding to bridge gaps, we aim to build a more supportive, non-judgmental, and connected world.


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Sep 04
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

This is absolutely correct. Parents shouldn't have to worry about their children getting shot in school.

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